I guess I should write

Wow. I havent posted on here in forever. I guess I probably should.

The only thing to talk about is that I'm planning on coming back to school after winter break, so I;ll see yall then. I have tutors coming to the house most days to catch me up, not to mention I'm still dealing with all the crohns shit for about 2 hours in the morning and about 3 hours at night, so life still manages to be stressful. Not to mention all the little side benifits like my face swelling, my skin breaking out, and not being allowed to eat solid food. Graw. Life sucks. How did this happen?

Oh well. Have fun in the snow. And call me. I gets lonely here...

sigh

I missed Demogoron today. Even if it is kinda weird to be in a club that mostly sits around silently, I'm sad I missed it for a math quiz. Plus I'm way behind in spanish, so i could have stayed for that. Bleh. Back to school= back to stress

Today Misty wore her black wool coat (which looked pretty good...even though it had some straw on it :) ), which reminded me about my wool coat. Since I'm in that kind of mood, I'll tell you about it.
Last year, after months of awesome grades, getting no allowance (I'm supposed to get 2 dollars a week, but I never get it), and being an all around good child (yeah...right), my mom decided she would actually get me something i wanted. I had a pretty odd brown coat, so hey, i figured a new coat would be nice. I wanted a red, mid-length, double button, wool coat. After about 4 months of searching for such a thing, we found it at macys. It was 90 dollars, which isn't bad for a wool coat, and it was in every way perfect. I loved it with all my heart. It had silver buttons, and a cinched waist, and the shoulders weren't too square. Yet again, I loved it. So I bought it. After wearing it for about a month, my mom noticed the buttons were chipping from shiny silver to just silver. You have to realize, I didn't give a crap, and new buttons would have cost 2 dollars. But no. She returned the whole freakin thing.
Later on she found a crappy 20 dollar coat at old navy that technically met all my requirements, but i guess i wasn't specific enough. The new one has black crappy buttons, no collar, the waist doesn't cinch, it itches, its heavy, it makes me look like shit, and the shoulders are damn square. I tried it on again when i got home, and decided maybe i should just wear my old brown coat. I guess I got what i asked for, but it sucks.

Thats how life works, doesn't it?

Thank you. thank you *bows

Next: for worst blogger in the world award: CONGRATULATIONS VIOLET :D

No seriously. I suck. When the freak was the last time I posted? Anyways...

Halloween is coming up! Gawd i love halloween. favorite holiday :)
It seems like everyone has a crush. Some seem justifiable, others, well...

I'm always surprised when someone is surprised that i would talk to a boy. There is nothing to be surprised about. I'll talk to anyone. I don't know when, but i think somewhere in eighth grade, i lost all shame. I have completely accepted who I am, and i have made it my duty to have the most fun i possibly can (don't get me wrong... my version of fun is "LOL-ing" all day).

OH! BTY. goin' as Finn from Adventure time on Halloween :D

Afterall, this is a blog

School goes on. There is an incredible difference in the number of people making out in high school than in middle school. Not many of my friends have boyfriends, but I can tell everyone is looking around. I myself have spied some people with faces, cute ones that is, but I feel there is difference in seeing cute guys, and crushing on them.

Leo is in my art class, and I'm basically enemies with him. I just can't stand him! To begin, one of my pieces homework that i had spent, like, at least an hour on, got severely smudged. So while I was freaking out, and everyone else was telling me it was okay, he basically told me it looked like shit. Since then I have been pretty angry. I mean everyone makes mistakes, but to kick someone when they are down? And never apologize? Some of my peeps (mmm, marshmallows!) say that he did apologize, but I know he didn't. I was waiting for him to say it, and he never did. To add to that, he is always acting like he is just such an amazing artist. He is alright. He talks endlessly about how at one point he wanted to draw animals to hang in museums, but now he wants to be a scientist because he is so freakin smart. Almost like he is too good to be an artist. Bleh. He just bothers me. He's pretty wimpy too. On like the second day of school he admitted that he had liked Misty, but never was enough of a human to ask her out. Even when he was basically told by many people that she would've said yes. Now of course, is different story. And I agree with her. (Love ya Misty)

I'm really excited that my english class is going to a greek restaurant dressed as immortals from the odyssey. I already but dibs on Calypso, a beautiful, magical, nymph, who basically has a breakdown when he captive lover is set free. If anyone knows how to put a gubzillion little braid into someone's hair, let me know. Plus, guy with a face is in that class.

In other news, the creepiest guy from middle school strikes again...this time asking a girl in my homeroom out. I'll call him Snail, assuming he doesn't already have a name.

Oh well, tata for now.

Waking from nothing...

Stepping out of my stress zone has become a momentary but treasured gift. While the rest of the world buzzes around I have come to many conclusions. The first of that being that I hate crowded places. The dull boxed in environment pushed upon each student within the highschool, filled with thousands of kids...teens...young adults?, leads to a feeling of misery.

After reading some other blogs I asked myself why i write a blog. I honestly don't know why. I suppose simply because I enjoy complaining, sharing my troubles if you will. With my version of luck guiding me, what can't go wrong? After fighting Crohn's for almost 4 years now, and only being free of it for a week and a half, I am sad to announce it is back. Nothing like questioning how quickly you can find a bathroom in the art wing, or finding a way to make things seem worse then they already are, just to know that you haven't hit rock bottom yet.

I don't know how, but I have found a way to survive. I feel like some kind of bug who has crawled its way through a pile of rubble which formerly imprisoned it. Like, no matter how unlucky that was, I made it. I can see the sky again, and I am free. I guess I'm still waititng for the freedom. I hope its coming and soon. I need something to not only numb the daily pain of life but to make it happy beyond the random laughter I fill my days with.

If anyone is still reading by this point in my dreadful ramble, I found something kind of bizarre today. I was sitting in world civ, and I don't know why but it really hit me today. The Ottoman empire was large and powerful. It ruled for over 4000 years. I'm certain no teenage girl in the empire ever thought, "Wow, Imagine years form now, my entire life, the city i live in, all things important in my life will be forgotten." I decided maybe that was actually something I should think about. I found it funny how much I have learned about America and american life. I know what to wear, and where we shop, and what we eat, and what drives our economy. I just find it funny that now I am looking at another empire that looked as if it would rule forever, and I couldn't help but think that maybe someday some children would be studying america and think "I wonder if any of those ancient Americans ever thought their empire would fall?" And to that I will say yes. I did. Because beginning today i have a feeling that at some point, everything ends. Be that the ottomans, disney world, and hell knows me.

even now...

Even during my "relaxing time" I am still stressed out. I found out today that all of "activity words" in my vocab text-book are going to be on the test, which just made my 10 words, into 50. Damn.

It was freakin hot at school today, which was made worse by the fact that my 2 of my classes were on the third floor. Apparently, the air conditioner lit on fire, so now we all must suffer.

I don't get it. Multiple people have told me they read my blog, yet i only have 4 followers. Its kinda creepy to know that a bunch of bizarre people found my blog. If yall readin this, follow me. Avoid the creepy.

Im oobers looking forward to Halloween. I'm thinking of mixing my birthday into it somehow.

Pretending.

I got bored, so I'm writing this.

Pretending.
Pretending i don't care,
Pretending i never did.

Pretending.
Pretending I was stronger,
that i was smarter,
better,
even innocent.

Pretending.
Pretending I don't need you,
and that I'll be okay,
on my own.

Pretending.
Pretending I can do this by myself,
that i won't become lost amongst the millions.

Pretending.
That I don't hurt,
that i am still fighting this battle.

Pretending.
That you were here.
That all was well.

Pretending.
That things could go back,
And I could forget the way you hurt me.

Yeah, so anyways, I thought this would make an awesome inspiration piece, like u have to come up with the story behind this...go ahead and try :) I has an idea already :D

BTW, Regular show rocks my freaking socks off. Love ya JG Quintel

Here I am...

so yeah. here i am. Thinking about how much i hate school, and not having summer. Not that I like summer its self...in fact i hate warm weather. Rather, i miss doing what i wanted, and not worrying about everything. god, I am a stressed out person. Everything i do is stressful. Now it has come time for me to ask why.

Why does everyone feel the need to create stress? I feel like everyone over thinks things these days. Does anyone need to know how to find the distance of two hypothetical points? No. So why r they stressing me out? I feel like i need to walk away from it all sometime...which is a bad sign considering we've only had one week of school.

I need a serious relaxer day, so let me know if anyone wants to take some time to relax with me...maybe sip some juice, watch some t.v, talk...you know...relax. I need to very badly. SO BADLY!

Hello Highschool...

High school is definitely a place to fear. Not at all for the reasons I had believed. I was so used to Middle School, where everyone wanted you to do good.Here, the teachers take it as a challenge, to see what they can mess up in a kid's life. I can honestly say I was surprised how un-caring a few of my teachers really are.

One of my teachers, comes off as the sweetest lady. Then we get back our 5 paragraph essays that we only has 30minutes to do, and no one got over an 80. I got a 78. She afterwords informed us of how she wanted us to lay out our starter, and i was all "thanks". She expected us to know what she wanted, when we had only had her for 3 days.

My other teacher is just evil. I don't think i need to go beyond that.

Of course i needed to switch out of my spanish class, because everyone in there was either a jerk, or stupid (with one exception). Plus Zucker was stalking me the first few days. Apparently, breaking up the nice way with him didn't work. So I sent him an e-mail. I would never break up over an e-mail, but because I felt i had already broken up with him, I feel no connection what-so-ever to him. I didn't care enough to find time to talk to the freak.

Strawberrie is convinced that a fairy-tail is about to take off between a boy in art with us, and me. The only problem is, I'm certain that he thinks I'm a loud-mouthed freak, because I've been really talkative in well...every class. I just don't feel the need to be shy around other kids. In my spanish class I sit next to a junior/senior (idk which) who decided to start learnin some spanish. He's really hard-core, and reminds me of Strawberrie's idea of dressing in different personalities each day. He's pretty funny though.

I have numerous depressing doubts about all my classes. I have begun to fear that I have made some kind of mistake, and that I am simply not cut out for the classes I am in. I feel like I am doomed to fail, and yet I have no idea what is around the corner. I really is a hard idea to deal with. Plus my crohn's has been workin up to the extreme, and I just can't stand it. I feel like walking out of my life and just saying "i'm done. I'm freaking tired of being sick and embarrassed, and I have tried hard enough in school. I'm going to go home, and I am going to paint. If you need me, we can discuss it over juice tomorrow. Good day!"

Almost there....

I was feeling pretty good about high school till right now. I really loved everyone at middle school: even if i hated some people, I was never afraid of them. Never.

Elementary was a different story. I feared everything...everyone. There were some people who tortured me, and others helped. I felt like a victim.

So today, like the idiot i am, clicked the word "pictures" on facebook. Up came every single album any of my friends had. Seeing that one of my acquaintances had an album from elementary school, i clicked on it. There were two pics with me in them, and i was barely in them. When i looked at the comments,one of them said (an evil girl's name): Sherry.

I felt my stomach drop. She still hated me. And I remembered all the other horrible jerks too. I looked at some of their pages...just as jerky as ever.

I never fear stupid people...which is why the people I hate are so very dangerous...they are smart, but still shallow. They can come across as nice, but really, I mean REALLY they aren't. I guess I'm writing this because I know they'll end up in my classes: I just know it. I have that kind of luck.

I noticed one of the girls had the same pic in one of her albums...she took the time to copy, save, edit me out of the picture, and then reload it to facebook. She hates me that much? Even when I did nothing to her? what am I supposed to make of that?

All I can do is hope, that just maybe, I'll never see their putrid faces, and if i do, it will be from a safe distance.

yet again....I'm back.

I just got back from the beach! I love relaxing, and the beach is the perfect place to do so. The sad part is, that after 4 days of sun, my version of a tan is unnoticeable. I could get lost in the snow....oh well.

I have discovered that my quote "man child" is just a good friend.I realized he wasn't right for me...I do that a lot, don't I? Graw. I guess that leaves school open? Right?

I still need those rainboots, and some sneakers, so if anyone wants to go to the mall, PLEASE let me know!

I have returned!

After a week of camp, I have returned. I had an awesome time and met some life long friends. I think it was the only camp I'll ever go to where every conversation started with

"hey" "hi" "I'm Shari" "Rachel (or any other name)" "Crohn's or colitis?"

After realizing everyone in my bunk had facebook, and that I couldn't see any of their pictures unless I joined, I have offically joined facebook.

There have been some people I have been dying to talk to, who are never on. Funny...after ignoring people for a wek in my bunk, it is weird how bad you want to talk to them.

One of the strangest people I have ever met constantly said "man child" like it had an actual meaning. Me and a few others have adapted this to mean: any guy you ever talk to, a guy you crush on, or the guy crushing on you. Let's just say I found a man child, i'm just not sure what category he falls under....

My mom was 2 hours late to pick me up. Everyone I liked, or even knew was long gone. I ended scaring the shnizzle out of a 15 year old guy who was very very shy...

All I could do was sit, sit, and sit, and i guess i liked it....even one little bit

A rewriting of Dr.Suess

I baby sat for 3 hours today. We were at the pool. May I just say, 5 year olds have a lot of energy. we never made it past the 2 ft marker, but i was still exhausted. At least i got 30 bucks. Now i can get those boots i wanted!!! Does somebody smell a mall adventure???

After which i went to the orthodontist, where i spent a whole hour just waiting. YAAAAWWWWN!!!!

I just toke a shower, and of course, my hair is wet enough to water the lawn, which could badly use it. Let me just say, my pumkins are not appreciating this weather...

Something will come to me....i know it

I really have nothing to say. I'm finding this more and more as the summer goes on. Slowly my friends are returning from camps and vacations. But I'm still bored.

If anyone wants to do something PLEASE call me!!! (or e-mail me....what ever)

The only news I have is that after Strawberrie's partay, i'm in love taquitos.(which is apparently not in the english dictionary)

Bugging me....

Something is bugging the hell out of me, and i'm not sure if i want to post it.

I guess I'm conflicted on rather everything should be posted.... I just answered my own question....so never mind.


I'm finally making some sales on etsy! that's good...right?

I feel like all my friends (cept for you Strawberrie....u always der for me!)have deserted me. 4 of my friends went away or are at camp....and leaves me with only a few buds to talk to.

Speaking of which MISTY! I haven't seen you in a while...whats goes on??

My mom keeps pressuring me to get Facebook.... but idk....i've heard too many horror stories....

Of a lack of topic....

I copied Misty's. (sorry)

Having no boyfriend makes me feel so un-special. As not right as he was, he always made me feel loved. Which is why I'm super excited to get back on the dating train.

In late August I get a week of a camp filled with kids with Crohn's or Colitis. I don't know why but I keep daydreaming of finding the perfect guy on the first day, and making everyday into a constant date. In reality it will probably suck, I'll meet a very annoying, clingy 6th grader, and I won't get a minute of sleep. Did you know they make you wake up at 7 and lights out at 10?? If I wake up at 7, I don't even want to hear the word bed until 12.

Who knows? Maybe a great guy will be in high school. One who loves me and keeps a good conversation. You never know.

COME ON PEOPLE!!!! COMMENT!!! I know you're out there....or are you??

In a world, where I am bored....

I ponder if anyone wants to go to ColorMeMine....the place where you paint something and then they put it in the kiln.

I really have nothing else to say...so ya know....'twas just wondering.

I'm free pretty much anytime, so give me a call, e-mail, or snail mail...yes that's right, you can tie a message on a snail.

If you have a different idea, I'm game!

I saved a life today

Yep. I saved a life. It was my fish's, Zelda's, but it was still important.

I came down stairs to clean the tank. Zelda was sunk at the bottom, with a big rock in her mouth. I ran up stairs, grabbed tweezers, and ran back down. I stuck my hand in grabbed Zelda, pulled the rock out (sans tweezer)and tossed her back in.

She's okay now, just a little frazzled.

I'm so sorry! sniff....tear....

Imagine me tearfully apologizing for never posting! Are you doing it? okay....keep doing it.........and.........enough!

I have somehow ended up spending the entire week doing nothing. Mostly I have sat in my basement and drawn. Yeah....I know, my life is just that exciting! I am in desperate need to get together with someone.

I am dying to do something normal kids do... so...what do normal kids do? Somehow I don't think it has anything to do with sitting in the basement by yourself. Misty and Strawberrie! We need to do something!!! Anyone like riding bikes? Technically, I have 3 bikes, and I live close enough to Springdale farms (they sell the best popsicles ever!)that we could all ride there. Or is that lame? I can't tell. It is just something I like to do. So I figure...hey why not? I'll drag my friends along for the fun of it!

Since I am rambling about things me and my friends could do...we should get together and have a spa day. (Not a real spa...I don't have that type of money!!!) I mean manicures and makeovers in my basement. Yeah that would be fun.

Or we could go to color me mine! I likes paint!

WARNING! everything you just read was Violet rambling on her laptop. she is no way responsible for any damages caused by you laughing at her ideas!

the laptop whisperer

Yay! I just got a laptop!! No...it isn't a fun color, but it still rocks! I haven't actually gotten to use it yet because my brother is setting it up. grrrr. he's pretty good at it though...he is the LAPTOP WHISPERER!!! (lightning striking in the backround)

p.s. i made my first sale on etsy! :)

Here lies Phineas....

My Betta fish committed suicide. I need to cry, or throw a tantrum.

I cleaned his bowl. Sometimes when fish get angry they play dead. So he did. He got his face stuck in the gravel. He couldn't breathe. He died. He was 1 year and 2 weeks.

First I was really angry that he would do this to me.

Then I was really pissed that he was gone.

Now I'm really sad, that I lost my little buddy who lived in a cube.

I need to cry. Yep, I'm not above crying over my fish. I feel like, even though it wasn't, it was still my fault. Like, if I bought a better tank, or didn't clean him at just that moment, maybe he wouldn't have thrown a fit and died. I feel like I killed him. Any way around it, I was involved in his death. I feel horrible. I need someone to cry with, even though he was just a fish. I'm writing this to make me feel better, so none of you better act like "what a baby crying over a fish". I can cry all I want. He was my awesome little friend, who hated toothpaste, ate like a pig, and always cheered me up.

Rest in peace Phineas A. Fish

I just realized, I never got to take his picture. His portrait was on my calender for tonight. I took Emil's last night. Sob.

May we advertise in peace...

I have decided to create another blog...Fresh Crayons. This one is basically for my etsy, so don't be all "what?" if I keep advertising my art.

In other news, there is no news. MISTY AND STRAWBERRIE!!! Necesito ir al cento comecial contigo.

P.s. I need to go school supplies shopping!

Mood of the day...

discouraged.

Nothing on my etsy is selling. I feel like no one likes my art. Other things that are far crappier than mine sell for 3 times more! Yet mine lay unwanted. Grrrrrrrr.

Fashion, Style, and falling down the stairs...

Yeah for friends!!!
Strawberrie, Misty, and I (wow, just look at that grammar...can you feel my pride?) went to the movies and then to the mall. We saw Despicable Me. It was okay. I mean, it wasn't the best movie I ever saw, but definitely worth a Monday. I had seen Misty during the summer yet, so YEAH! I have a friend who doesn't ignore over the summer...(that would be sad).

We took the bridge to the mall after. I would like to send my congrats to Strawberrie for conquering the almighty bridge. May I just say that bridge was really cool, it had AN ELEVATOR! YOU HEARS ME RIGHT!!! ELEVATOR! We drank some tea, looked at some clothes, nommed some food, and even had a daring escape! Basically a alarm went off and we went outside for 5 minutes...but I think that should count as dangerous. I bought a classic looking sweatshirt at Old Navy.

We headed over to JC Penny's were my berry-based friend had some credits to spend. Misty and I ( there's that grammar again) brought Strawberrie so many things to try on. Ultimately she chose one of Misty's outfits ( which was very cute). I could tell they were both hinting I had horrible taste, but I don't care. My style is my style. Even if it sucks, it is something that defines me. It is the style that satisfies me the most. That's okay. I'm glad Strawberrie found something she looked good in. Plus, friends are there to help me question myself. I suppose it makes us all better people.

So, Strawberrie tried on a shirt, which didn't work for her. But I realized I really liked it. But it was too big. (There wasn't another) But I loved it, so I decided to buy it. It didn't have a price tag. In the end I didn't get my shirt.

Next, Misty went to Coach, were she bought a 100% adorable wristlet, and ( for good reason) no birthday present for Jim.

And, if any poor unfortunate soul is left who actually read to this point, the second squash from my plant was picked today. Sadly, since I was away for a week, I let it mature to long, and it turned into a pumpkin like gourd instead of a crisp zucchini. Grrrrr.

P.S. My stomach hurts.

Anyone...Hello? Is this thing on??

Hello America, Mexico, and my back yard!

Nothing on earth is happening to me. Tomorrow I'm going to the movies. Wow...when I have to start blogging about tomorrow it si not a good sign.

Does anyone know how to delete a label out of my show alls??

SYS...(see yall soon...duh!)

welcome home!!!

Hey yall!!!

I just got back from Canada! It was freakin hot there! I never thought I'd have to say..."Damn Canadian heat...it's making me break out!". We went to Ottawa, Montreal, and Quebec. It was bizarre how they spoke more French in Quebec than in France. I'll be sure to share some pictures soon.

Misty and Strawberrie... CALL ME...OR e-MAIL ME!!! After spending a week in the same hotel room with my family, I need some serious friend time. Anyone want to go see Despicable Me???

P.S. Misty, you and I need to have a chat about giving signals to a certain someone... :)

Squash.

Yep. Squash.

I planted a garden in my back yard, and I harvested my first squash today. I had a piece... it tasted like a zucchini's better cousin.

Nothing other than that happened today. Tomorrow, I leave for Canada. Adios por ahora mismo.

ETSY!!!!

Hi yall! I just opened an etsy shop, so you are welcome to check it out!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/freshcrayons

I figured maybe somebody will like my art...

Happy summer!!! Misty...call me!

Have u seen my monkey??

Happy Summer yall!!!

Strawberrie and I had lunch today. Chinese is always delicious. We talked about all things bothersome...and some things squishy:p
Afterwards we went to target, where we saw a skort that was labeled 'scooter'. Scooter? Really?? Then we went to the mall where we searched for the ugliest piece of clothing. I think it was between the red furry pants, and the faux bear fur vest.

My brother and his lumpy friend went to the arcade, where they won tiny keychain barrels of monkeys. I felt cheated...mine was missing a monkey. If you see a 1/4 inch scale plastic monkey, let me know.

If anyone wants to get together give me a ring!

Maybe if I close my eyes, this will all go away

I am so over Zucker. I realized we weren't right for each other. I realized if I stay with someone I don't like, how will I find someone I do like? I know, I know, This isn't news...but it just makes more sense to me now. I deserve to be happy. If I wasn't satisfied, I have a right to move on.

Although my mom is heart broken. She mentions him every day, and pleads me to try to call and get together. She gave a long tirade about how I find flaws in everyone, and write them off. How I need friends, and I am a lonely person.

Thanks mom, that's exactly what I needed. :P

I saw Toy Story 3 with GiGi. It was pretty good. I figured out what my dream job is. (Everyone needs one...they are what you strive for until you find out you suck at soccer, or can't get a book published). I would love to be a pixar character designer. I know what your thinking...KEEP DREAMING, but ya know...it's my dream job.

Strawberrie! How should I contact you??? Do you have e-mail????

I feel like a jerk.

I am 100 percent sure Zucker wasn't right for me. So wouldn't I just be humoring him if I stayed in a loveless relationship? Under this assumption, I preformed a necessary act to confirm this dislike. Under the typical mind set of the teenager ( and my mom, who thinks if any guy looks at me I should be praising the lord.), I have committed treason. I have left someone nice, caring, good, and kind. Someone who really liked me. But should it not be enough I did not duplicate his endeavor? I realized I was not satisfied. Shouldn't that be enough? Then why do I still feel this guilt? Like I've hurt someone I never wanted to hurt. IDK. I know I was right...but it still hurt.

Hello? Is anyone home???

No one ever comments. I feel like I'm talking to myself. Who knows... maybe I am.

YEAH FOR GRADUATION! I won an award, but a crappy one. Some kids got money...I got a stupid plaque. What is a plaque good for? Hitting people?? It was super hot in the gym. My dress kept sticking to my legs. Other people looked pretty, I looked shitty.

The principle talked about some of his favorite students. This included Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, and let's not forget: Jenny. He also mentioned who he believed to be the best artist in the school, who was obviously ( with my extreme dose of luck ) not me. Not to say the girl who did win isn't phenomenal...I just would've liked a little cred. I guess winning a Riversharks contest, and raising 1,000 dollars for the CCFA mean nothing.

Oh well. Just another stepping stone on the path of life. Misty and Strawberrie: I desperately need a girls day. I just do.

GRADUATION!

Tonight is the eighth grade graduation. I'm hoping they keep it fairly short. I am also hoping it is not a gubzillion degrees in the gym. But with my luck, it will be a gubzillion-and-two degrees. Grrrr.

I have asked multiple people their opinion about me and Zucky. The key is I know he isn't right for me. We just don't click. I can see he really likes me, I just don't like him back. He needs someone less out going than me. I need someone bold, who always has an opinion. He is really nice, and has done nothing wrong. I don't know. I don't want to break up with him on the last day of school... that's just mean.

I really want to avoid his parents tonight. They are really into me and Zucky being together. That would really turn on the guilt.

I have to go now. Talk to yall when I'm a graduate!

The worst...

So, last night sucked. I was accused and yelled at by my dad, for something I can prove I didn't do. He called me numerous words I will not be repeating. With good reason, I took back his father's day gift.

So yeah. I told Zucky I knew he was more into us dating than I was, and he said no, and I said yes, and he said idk. WE ARE NOT BROKEN UP. WE ARE NOT BREAKING UP. I didn't bring it up, and he didn't bring it up. In case anyone thought we were, we aren't ( as of the moment). We are still together. He is a nice guy, and he's going to camp for 6 weeks.

I only wish he'd stop trying to be with me constantly. Whenever he sees me, he comes over. And just to pretend he is humoring the conversation we had about personal space, he moves to another group, and watches me from there.

I realize now talking is really important in a relationship. that or I just don't like quite guys. Keep it mind.

still no title

I have been hearing about a lot of drama at school.
My life is drama-less. I can't think of the last time I have really fought with someone.

My version of drama is getting an A on that math test (YEAH!!!!)

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the whole "Zucky" thing. Maybe I should've never said yes to being his gf, and just left it at dating. IDK. I can tell he's uncomfortable with the whole thing, and I have a lot to think about.

I'm starting a new med this summer (for the crohn's) and its pretty serious. I don't know if I want a bf during that. It has nothing to do with him, I just feel like I want to deal with this alone, and then deal with relationships again in the fall. Do you get time-outs in dating? I didn't think so. I don't want to break up, yet I don't want to deal with guys. Grrrr.

He keeps saying how glad he is that I'm his girlfriend. I really like him, so I don't want to be all "I only want to think about me".
I like being with him, so I don't know why this is bothering me so much.

Please leave a comment telling me what to do.

I'll think of a title...maybe...

The reason I can never think of a title is because I never know what I am going to write about. So... yet again, a crappy title.

Nothing has really been happening in my life. Every time something fun or exciting happens, it eventually settles. Like a rock thrown in a lake. Oh wait...I know! I bought a yo-yo! I have been yo-yo-ing ever since I bought it (22 hours ago)

After reading Misty's blog, I am going to announce I am also on team Strawberrie. Maybe we should make shirts!

Zucky and I haven't been doing much. In fact, he barely says anything to me. He likes to stand next to me, or hold hands, but he never says anything. It gets me wondering. Was there ever any conversation? Am I just being paranoid and forgetting all the good times we have had? Oh, and by the way, If you mention any of this to him I'll literally NOM YO FACE OFF!!!!! We'll end up working this out, I just need NO INTERFERENCE!!!!

I feel like this blog is a less violent version of my diary. And for some reason I am letting people I don't even know read it.

Next on the agenda, it is almost the end of the school year. For the most part I am satisfied. I am so close to my A in math I could die. I need this A! I can't let my evil math teacher ruin my straight A's! Grades and art are the only things I have, and art can not carry me to where I want to be! Why would such a sweet old lady, hate me with such a passion?

Get yo dance on!!!!!

I just got back from the dance. I think it went pretty well. I had fun. The gym still looked like a gym...but at least a pretty one.

I don't know why, but Zucky seems to believe that you either have to stand RIGHT NEXT TO or NOT EVEN IN THE SAME ROOM AS your girlfriend. I can tell he is knew to this ;)

That's okay though because so am I. But something tells me that I am just a little better at this. It may be because I am so blunt, use so much candor, and love to pretend to know what I'm doing.

For example, I can't dance for my life. Any sensible person can tell you this. But tonight I got out there and pretended I could. And ya know what? I had some serious fun.

In other news, Badger broke his promise. He pretended he never even remembered making it. Maybe it was too much for the lil' guy...ya know slow dancing with a pretty girl. Maybe he just wasn't ready. I'll probably never know.

My seven dollar shoes hurt like hell. So, I went barefoot most of the time. But at least my dress held out.

Next, I would like us all to please give a round of applause to Strawberrie for finding the perfect dress. CONGRATS!

Returning to the subject... Nat,Misty,Leo, Zucky and I all met up at my house before the dance. Zucky's parents came and talked to my parents. I had the feeling it could all go wrong at any moment. But luckily it was alright! Zucky even brought me a pink rose. I could tell his mom had thought of it, but I was still madly flattered. We took like 6,000 gubzillion photos. (no, I will not be posting any)

That's enough of my poorly organized rambling for now...tata!

Tonight...

Tonight is the night!!! THE DANCE!!!

I have the feeling my dress is way too fancy. But I don't care, I am going to rock it any ways!

I just hope Zucky behaves himself. I caught him creepily following me. Plus, the fact he is really tall ( and I am really short,) added to the weirdness.

Great Adventure was awesome, plus I got Leo to PROMISE that he would ask Misty out by the end of the dance. BTW, please call Leo a badger when you see him.

I found a picture of my dress online... but only in green. Keep in mind that mine is actually rose pink.

TTYS
(Talk to 'yall soon)

I GOT A DRESS!!!!!!!!!!

As all of you probably heard, I GOT A DRESS! I love it! Monday Strawberrie and I went to the mall. After trying on a about 600 gubzillion dresses, I finally concluded I should get the pretty one.

It's pink! It has ruffled bodice ( which goes down to the butt) and then it has a short pickup skirt. It is strapless, but luckily my mom approved it. Right were the bodice and skirt meet, there are some light and fluffy looking flowers made out of tulle. I think Zucky will really like it.

Strawberrie and i also found some really cute shoes to go with it.

Thus my search for a dress ends...for now...

In any who, we started acting out A Midsummer's night Dream in Language A. For now, I am Hermia, one of the 4 lovers. Jake (efron)and Babitz played Lysander and Demetrius. Helena was played by tall Emily. Even though I didn't have a clue what I was saying, I think I did pretty good. (or at least better than efron who couldn't pronounce a single word)

Since all the costumes were out this morning, Short Emily and I wore butterfly wing through advisory. And since Em likes to OD on anything sparkly,she wore them in Spanish. (I gave mine back). But hey, when you're a butterfly princess, why not wear wings?

O, and I got a 37 out of 40 on the math test!

And Strawberrie, I don't care how u spell it, no BEARS!

P.S. Me and Zucky have been spending more and more time together. Plus, we stopped trying to pretend that nothing was going on.

(2) P.S. (1 p.s. wasn't enough!) Comment! I know you're out there!

Should I never find a dress, may my hopes be layed to rest

Tomorrow + Mall + friend = DRESS

For the gubzillionth blog post, I still need a dress for the dance.

I was totally pissed because:

The dress I liked was too dark for a non-formal party. (Even though I looked sooooo good in it)

So I went online to find out they sold it in white.

So I went to the store.

They only sold it in plus sizes.

If I ordered it, it won't come in time.

URRRRRGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

Slip N Slide...

Gym today sucked.

It was way too hot. Plus, I never watched the weather, so I wore pants (instead of shorts. Yes. I know what you were thinking). The grass was too tall, so I couldn't see the ball.

I hate field hockey. Do I look, (or at least sound) like the kind of person who would be good at field hockey? I was sooooooooo dehydrated.

Zucky and I hung-out a little bit today. For some reason some people (I won't mention any names... MISTY)are saying we are like Edward and Bella. The only problem with this is that my boyfriend isn't a vampire, and i don't have any wear-wolves as friends.

The lesson of today:

1. bring water and shorts to gym

2. gym would be better if we played on a slip-n-slide

Free!!!!

there is nothing better than free stuff! I just got my 17 magazine, and they are offering free nail polish. Maybe we can all go together and get colors to match our dresses! (I'll just have to pick pink because i don't have a dress yet)

Just so its offical:

Tomorrow May 25th, bring the coupon on page 24 of the June/July 2010 Issue of Seventeen to any participating ULTA store to receive your free gift, Nicole by OPI Nail Lacquer. You many also go to seventeen.com/nicolebyopi to print out the coupon (it will be there on the 25th).

(The 17 blog)


P.S. Me and Zucky are doing a lot of hand-holding, hugging, and sweatshirt borrowing. :)

5 gubzillion-thousand dresses!

That's right. I made a new number...gubzillion-thousand. It means a lot, but you have no idea how many. I tried on so many dresses today at the mall. I went with my mom, so i had to try some on that made me look like a 2-year-old going to an Easter party. I didn't find any. The first one I liked had no straps, and the second one had a big hole in it. They just don't make dresses like they used to.

Me and Zucker decided we are going to do something together sometime...date night! Any ideas? Comment with your fabtastic ideas!

P.S. I still need to go dress shopping if anyone wants to.

Aaaarg.

Aaaarg. Not like a pirate, like grrrrrrrrrr.

I get blood drawn all the time, so i went after school. Of course I got an a-hole nurse who doesn't know how to draw blood. My arm hasn't hurt so much since i feel down the stairs. (i do that a lot too... not to mention falling up the stairs). Overall, ouch.

My hamster just feel asleep on my shoulder (so cute!)

We got our interims. (I don't know how to spell interum...interim...inerterim?)Everything looked good, execpt for math. That lying jerk. What she really should have written was Math: I want to eat your child's face off.

Something weird happened today, but I'm too confused to write about it. Come to think about it 3 weird things happened today. Oh well...

Lo siento :(

I haven't posted in forever, partially because nothing has happened. But, I didn't want yall to think I forgot about you!

I baked a cake. And, I bought food coloring, so my icing is pink and lime green. Sadly I have to wait for it to cool before I can actually ice it. Grrrr.

P.S.
I have been informed by my Spanish teacher that 'Lo siento' means I'm sorry. But who knows? It could really mean 'giant pandas eating candy' and I would never know. It kind of scares me that its in Mrs.Newman's hands to decide if the spanish I learn, is actually spanish.

THE BRITISH ARE COMING!

I found out today no one actually went around screaming "THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!". It's kind of a let down. Stupid history. Why you go a lyin?

We practiced insulting each other in Shakespearean language. And, everyone who doesn't comment after reading this is a tottering fen-sucked vassal. JK.

I kept trying to print my humanities project, and the printer kept exploding. It has weird ink spots all over it. God, I really hate printers.

Mrs.Lind moved Zucker right next to me in Spanish. I like Mrs.Lind. (tee hee)

I need to go dress shopping. Anyone who wants to go dress shopping, I'm with ya. I need something just right. And what's better than the mall? (besides chickens, pigeons, slow lorisses, the color brown...okay, alot of things are better than the mall. but hey, its pretty awesome right?)

Tadah...

I think I finally figured out how to fix the comment thingy. Yeah!!! I expect everyone to leave a comment, considering i had many aggravating trial and errors.

Nothing really happened today except for the ominous mountains of homework looming above me. I hate homework. Keep the school work, IN SCHOOL!!!

I don't know why, but I always feel like school is a competition. Not so much about learning, just getting your grade. I feel like now that I've established myself as one of the smart ones, school should be done. I'm counting down the seconds until school ends. That is unless I'm with Zucker, than I savor every second. We are officially on a hugging basis. We are taking things slow. I'm glad. Fast moving relationships never last long.

p.s. I got an 85 on that super hard test. God I hate her. She is so nit-picky. Plus she acts like I'm stupid. Jerk.

The slow lorris

My title has nothing to do with what I'm writing. I just like slow lorrises.

It is amazing how many people have given advice to Zucker. Sometimes when I'm standing right next to him. Things like "kiss her, NOW!" and "buy her something pretty!" have been discussed when I was standing right there. I can't believe how quickly it got around.

Since we are going to the dance together, I want to buy a new dress. My mom thinks I should wear one I already own. But to be perfectly honest, none of them are just right. I want something perfect.

I feel so snooty. (hehe snooty...) I'm like a stupid teenager who can't think about anything except clothing.

Anyways, today my math teacher gave us a really hard test. She didn't even know how to solve the problems. It's always concerning when the teacher doesn't know how to do the problems on the test. This isn't surprising though, because she takes all her tests from the other higher level math teacher.

Headlining News:

Mrs. Kensinger is retiring! I heard this from the most reliable source, next to Mrs. Kensinger herself.

Other teachers retiring: Mrs. Taylor
Mrs.Wilby

Teachers being layed off: Mr. Goldthorp (as seen in the local news)

P.s. My hamster thinks he's a beaver!!!

Desperate House Cats...

Everyone heard the news today. Me and Zucker, Zucker and I. Wow. I hate to say this on such a public website (clearly understandably). Sorry if I forget to tell any one person, but after hearing "AAAAAhhhh! That's so cute!" about 12 thousand times a day, I just assume everyone knows.

According to Misty, he has been planning this for months. Am I that clueless?

Today we had gym outside. Of course, since it was freezing cold,(being the incredibly stupid when it comes to weather person I am)I left my coat in my locker. AND, Mrs.Housman wouldn't let me get it. She drives me crazy!!!

So anyways, I freezing my ass off while playing field hockey (worst sport ever), and Zucker lent me his sweatshirt. It was huge, warm, and perfect. I guess anything having to do with first "dates" feels perfect.

When one girl heard, she clawed me. Like an over-whelmed house cat. I have the mark to prove it. Love hurts.

OOH! I just heard the ice cream truck!!!

Bye! ( leave comments! come on, what am I paying you for????)

Water Park

The water park was super fun yesterday. Misty, Strawberrie, and Leo kept putting me and "zucky" (as straberrie would say) together. Then strawberrie would have a happy, lovey, spaz attack. For an imaginary friend, Strawberrie is pretty visible.(tee hee)

I really need to go dress shopping, especially now that i have a date to the dance!

HAZAH!!!!!!!!

OMG!!! I found my key!!!!

After a completely horrible day, finding my key has completely lifted my spirits!

You know those stupid little pencil pockets inside of a pocket inside of a backpack? If not, when is the last time you've used a backpack?

Well, my key was thoroughly wedged inside on of those. I ripped it out. YEAH!!! I AM HAPPY!

In other news, Misty told me something is going to happen to me. AND she won't tell me what. GOD! I'm dying to know!

Hope to see everyone at the game tonight... except for Strawberrie. She totally blew me off. Yeah, Strawberrie, I just dissed you. (Don't kill me...or hug me.)

TTYL (talk to yall later)

Worst day ever...

I am having a horrible day. There is nothing (other than finding my key) that could make today decent.

1. I can't find my key with my library and jcc card

2. I stepped in mud and now my shoes look horrible

3. the math teacher lost my test corrections worth 11 points

4. my stomach hurts really badly ( like crohn's badly)

5. i have homework (which I'm clearly not in the mood for)

Overall today just sucks. If misty and strawberrie are reading this, I'm announcing this as my catastrophe. I would have rather just walked into the bench. God may be cruel, but this just isn't fair. I haven't lost anything THIS important to be me since that "Snow White Barbie" when I was 5.

I feel like exploding. That still wouldn't cover up my agony.

I know what you're saying..."what a baby. She can't even handle losing a stupid key. Get over it!!" If you're not saying this, then I am sorry. For all of those who saying (or thinking) this, I will explain.

I'm not the kind of person who looses things. No less something I use every day. Plus (like i said) I feel like crap. My stomach is killing me. I'm practically dead.

BTW: No, my parents will not give me another key. ever.

P.S. Does anyone know that phrase that asks a saint to help you find stuff? I really need it.

One of those days...

I can tell I'm having one of those days.

1st: I lost an earring
2nd: I messed up my blog trying to get a template (and even though I tried to fix it, it just doesn't feel right.
3rd: I can't think of anything to write as the 3rd thing to write
4th: my phone sucks!!!!
5th: my hamster has a cold

Mostly number 2 is bothering me... not to say number one didn't put a damper on my day. Overall, my life sucks. Deal with it.

Late Night Par-tay!

I went to a really fancy bat mitzvah last night. It went so late! I left early...and still got home at 12! They sat me at a table with all 7th grade boys. (gee... that was fun) Until I found someone I actually knew among the masses. Then I had a pretty good time.

Of course when I got home I still had to take off all that make-up...

I'm really looking forward to our day at the water park. Except I really need a new bathing suit. Hopefully Misty, Strawberrie, and I can all go bathing suit shopping. Its always really awkward to go bathing suit shopping with my mom, cause she acts like I should buy a full body suit. Personally, I'm into the bikini scene.

Now I only wish I could find a cool template for my blog.

Day 2: urg

Yeah! I finished day 2 of the NJ Ask. For the second or third year in a row there was no picture prompt. URG! I WANT A STUPID PICTURE PROMPT!!!!

I totally feel like LPS from Adventure Time !

I LUMPIN HATE THEM!

I guess I don't really have anything to write...
maybe I'll think of something later.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Just in case anyone ever believed my math teacher was nice, they were sadly mistaken. We took a test on simplifying fractions (with unknowns of course) and the class average was a 72. The usual class average is 88. The main problem you ask? She never taught us how to do any of that! We spent like 2 days on it!
Just what I needed...something to bring down my average. Grrrrrrrrr.

1 day down on the Nj Ask.
it felt like 12.

I'm thinking about opening an Etsy shop. Who knows...maybe I'll become rich and famous. Or at least rich.

I can't think of a title

Today in gym we played a really stupid game on scooters. Its like handball for the walking challenged. The lesson here? I can't play handball, no less on a scooter.

Tomorrow is the NJ ask! Luckily I'm in a room with some people I actually like. Good luck everyone!!!

Hi!

OMG! Somebody actually read what I wrote! Just in case someone is reading my blog now...HI! (and a special hi to Natalie!)

First Post

Wow...I can't believe I'm blogging. Just watch, I'll take all this time blogging and no one will ever read it. That would suck.

I'm still confused about this whole thing. But I found out that like, ALL of my friends have a blog. Not just that, but they've been having the time of their life. I figured I should join in.

I wish I had something interesting to say...