even now...

Even during my "relaxing time" I am still stressed out. I found out today that all of "activity words" in my vocab text-book are going to be on the test, which just made my 10 words, into 50. Damn.

It was freakin hot at school today, which was made worse by the fact that my 2 of my classes were on the third floor. Apparently, the air conditioner lit on fire, so now we all must suffer.

I don't get it. Multiple people have told me they read my blog, yet i only have 4 followers. Its kinda creepy to know that a bunch of bizarre people found my blog. If yall readin this, follow me. Avoid the creepy.

Im oobers looking forward to Halloween. I'm thinking of mixing my birthday into it somehow.

Pretending.

I got bored, so I'm writing this.

Pretending.
Pretending i don't care,
Pretending i never did.

Pretending.
Pretending I was stronger,
that i was smarter,
better,
even innocent.

Pretending.
Pretending I don't need you,
and that I'll be okay,
on my own.

Pretending.
Pretending I can do this by myself,
that i won't become lost amongst the millions.

Pretending.
That I don't hurt,
that i am still fighting this battle.

Pretending.
That you were here.
That all was well.

Pretending.
That things could go back,
And I could forget the way you hurt me.

Yeah, so anyways, I thought this would make an awesome inspiration piece, like u have to come up with the story behind this...go ahead and try :) I has an idea already :D

BTW, Regular show rocks my freaking socks off. Love ya JG Quintel

Here I am...

so yeah. here i am. Thinking about how much i hate school, and not having summer. Not that I like summer its self...in fact i hate warm weather. Rather, i miss doing what i wanted, and not worrying about everything. god, I am a stressed out person. Everything i do is stressful. Now it has come time for me to ask why.

Why does everyone feel the need to create stress? I feel like everyone over thinks things these days. Does anyone need to know how to find the distance of two hypothetical points? No. So why r they stressing me out? I feel like i need to walk away from it all sometime...which is a bad sign considering we've only had one week of school.

I need a serious relaxer day, so let me know if anyone wants to take some time to relax with me...maybe sip some juice, watch some t.v, talk...you know...relax. I need to very badly. SO BADLY!

Hello Highschool...

High school is definitely a place to fear. Not at all for the reasons I had believed. I was so used to Middle School, where everyone wanted you to do good.Here, the teachers take it as a challenge, to see what they can mess up in a kid's life. I can honestly say I was surprised how un-caring a few of my teachers really are.

One of my teachers, comes off as the sweetest lady. Then we get back our 5 paragraph essays that we only has 30minutes to do, and no one got over an 80. I got a 78. She afterwords informed us of how she wanted us to lay out our starter, and i was all "thanks". She expected us to know what she wanted, when we had only had her for 3 days.

My other teacher is just evil. I don't think i need to go beyond that.

Of course i needed to switch out of my spanish class, because everyone in there was either a jerk, or stupid (with one exception). Plus Zucker was stalking me the first few days. Apparently, breaking up the nice way with him didn't work. So I sent him an e-mail. I would never break up over an e-mail, but because I felt i had already broken up with him, I feel no connection what-so-ever to him. I didn't care enough to find time to talk to the freak.

Strawberrie is convinced that a fairy-tail is about to take off between a boy in art with us, and me. The only problem is, I'm certain that he thinks I'm a loud-mouthed freak, because I've been really talkative in well...every class. I just don't feel the need to be shy around other kids. In my spanish class I sit next to a junior/senior (idk which) who decided to start learnin some spanish. He's really hard-core, and reminds me of Strawberrie's idea of dressing in different personalities each day. He's pretty funny though.

I have numerous depressing doubts about all my classes. I have begun to fear that I have made some kind of mistake, and that I am simply not cut out for the classes I am in. I feel like I am doomed to fail, and yet I have no idea what is around the corner. I really is a hard idea to deal with. Plus my crohn's has been workin up to the extreme, and I just can't stand it. I feel like walking out of my life and just saying "i'm done. I'm freaking tired of being sick and embarrassed, and I have tried hard enough in school. I'm going to go home, and I am going to paint. If you need me, we can discuss it over juice tomorrow. Good day!"