Waking from nothing...

Stepping out of my stress zone has become a momentary but treasured gift. While the rest of the world buzzes around I have come to many conclusions. The first of that being that I hate crowded places. The dull boxed in environment pushed upon each student within the highschool, filled with thousands of kids...teens...young adults?, leads to a feeling of misery.

After reading some other blogs I asked myself why i write a blog. I honestly don't know why. I suppose simply because I enjoy complaining, sharing my troubles if you will. With my version of luck guiding me, what can't go wrong? After fighting Crohn's for almost 4 years now, and only being free of it for a week and a half, I am sad to announce it is back. Nothing like questioning how quickly you can find a bathroom in the art wing, or finding a way to make things seem worse then they already are, just to know that you haven't hit rock bottom yet.

I don't know how, but I have found a way to survive. I feel like some kind of bug who has crawled its way through a pile of rubble which formerly imprisoned it. Like, no matter how unlucky that was, I made it. I can see the sky again, and I am free. I guess I'm still waititng for the freedom. I hope its coming and soon. I need something to not only numb the daily pain of life but to make it happy beyond the random laughter I fill my days with.

If anyone is still reading by this point in my dreadful ramble, I found something kind of bizarre today. I was sitting in world civ, and I don't know why but it really hit me today. The Ottoman empire was large and powerful. It ruled for over 4000 years. I'm certain no teenage girl in the empire ever thought, "Wow, Imagine years form now, my entire life, the city i live in, all things important in my life will be forgotten." I decided maybe that was actually something I should think about. I found it funny how much I have learned about America and american life. I know what to wear, and where we shop, and what we eat, and what drives our economy. I just find it funny that now I am looking at another empire that looked as if it would rule forever, and I couldn't help but think that maybe someday some children would be studying america and think "I wonder if any of those ancient Americans ever thought their empire would fall?" And to that I will say yes. I did. Because beginning today i have a feeling that at some point, everything ends. Be that the ottomans, disney world, and hell knows me.